My boyfriend Jon Berryman misrepresented me badly when he said I call the Guardian a "Trotsky paper" (Letters, 24 January). Everyone knows it's a Stalinist rag.
Torygirl (aka Claire Allison)Poulton-le-Fylde, Lancashire
Now, I accused this bunch of chromosomal aberrations of being 'a fucking idiot' and 'technically in a coma'. But it didn't keep the reprehensible imbecile away. So:
Just. Fuck. Off.
Christ, I know Tories probably think this sort of thing is terribly witty, but I have to assume this is a side-effect from having their soul removed at birth. YOU AREN'T FUNNY. YOU AREN'T CHARMING. THIS ISN'T QUIRKY. YOU ARE BOTH FUCKING IDIOTS. FUCK. OFF.
NEVER SO MUCH AS BREATHE ON THE PAPER AGAIN, IN CASE I CATCH YOUR STUPID.
IF YOU DO I SWEAR BY ALL THE GODS THAT I WILL COME DOWN TO YOUR HORRIBLE-SOUNDING VILLAGE AND I WILL DO SOMETHING HIDEOUSLY UNPLEASANT TO YOU. PROBABLY INVOLVING STOATS. AND ANGRY RABID BADGERS.
I think I may send this in to the letters page myself...