James Purnell: It's all about the money.
No shit, James, the man who took taxpayers money to get advice on how to avoid tax, but well done for being so forthcoming.
Oh, you don't mean you, after all
The last few weeks have been deeply uncomfortable for anyone who believes that politics is not a means for enriching yourself but a vehicle for us to change our society.
Right again, James, and would it be churlish to point out how effective you've been at demonstrating both these things - after all, without you, who would there be to attack people on benefits? Now that's compassionate conservatism for you...
But wait! James is only just getting started. He doesn't want our money for himself this time, oh no. He wants it for the parties!
The prime minister has already set out a radical reform of the MPs' expenses system to end the gentlemen's club where members make up the rules for themselves.
*ahem* After, and I really can't stress this enough, you all got caught. Why don't you get that this isn't enough? You're a tax dodging crook - that's not actually OK, you twunt.* You have, after all, been an MP for 8 years now, and you're joint second in claiming 'additional cost allowance'? Not bad work I suppose...
Hang on, before we get to the meat, there's still more...
Money means power. It affects the extent to which you have control over your own life and whether others – either people or institutions – have control over you. For example, many people who are losing their jobs now are doing so because of the power exercised irresponsibly and unaccountably by the banking sector.
*headdesk* Yes, who could have encouraged the proliferation of irresponsibility in that sector?
Anyway, let's check out the begging bowl.
Right, so he wants to cut big donations altogether and give parties state funding. So, that's the links with the unions gone forever then.
By offering state funding to parties in return for them engaging the entire public through local activism and policy-making we would incentivise them to return to their roots as vehicles for bringing citizens together to change their communities – not separating them into narrow segments of valued voters.
He likes this phrase so much he repeats it twice, word for word. Mmm, state-funded BNP activists, working closely with the whole community to engage them. Smell those buzzwords! They're luvverly.
What an arsehole. Words fail me.
*To be perfectly accurate, that should be: civil-liberties trouncing, warmongering, ID-card loving, foundation hospital supporting, nukulars-r-grate dickhead.