Serendipity, divine intervention, epiphany, call it what you will, but I have clearly been Chosen by a Higher Power to reveal to you the epicentre of evil in the modern world.
It will come as no surprise to most of you to learn that this place is in Yorkshire. My suspicions were first aroused many years ago, when as a teenager I learnt that the cheatcode to the game 'Worms' was the same as the place where the developers were based.
Worms, as you will doubtless recall, is a game in which you control teams of worms and command them to do barbaric deeds with vicious, indiscriminate weapons like exploding sheep, Holy Hand Grenades, and even blowtorches. Who were you required to do this to? Why, worms of course. Because that is how Satanists see us! Oh, there are none so blind as those who will not see!
Then my suspicions were given weight this very day when I read of the birthplace of David Peace, author of the Red Riding Quartet, The Damned Utd and GB84. Clearly the atmosphere of this place has a disturbing effect on all young minds whom it comes into contact with. The sleep of reason produces monsters indeed.
A quick Googlemapping confirmed everything I had feared:
An inverted pentagram with it's base right in the centre of the village! 'Nuff said, I think.
I attempted to interview a local resident about this terrifying threat to mankind, but he simply replied "I'll tell me mam on thee," adding cryptically "Eeh, I'll go to foot of our stairs" and hopping away.