Thursday, 16 April 2009

Procrastination List

Things you can do to put off writing a very boring essay:
  • Watch some Doctor Who
  • Convert your loose change into shopping
  • Tidy your room
  • Try and work out a way to shoehorn Trotsky into an essay on pedagogy
  • Start (and finish) Bad Science by Ben Goldacre
  • Try and improve your accuracy on Res Evil 4 to over 80%
  • Surf the Interwebs
  • Blog about stuff
  • Obsessively check FriendFace
  • Use the iPlayer to see if there're any interesting documentaries you might have missed, about ooh I don't know, motorways and their influence on late twentieth century guttering pipes. Just anything, really.
  • Buy music. Lots of music.
  • Start reading that book on Heidegger you've had lying around for ages
  • Drink a sufficient amount of tea that it would probably outweigh you if poured into some outlandishly sized scales
  • Tidy your room again
  • Re-organise your DVD collection. Should documentaries really go near the comedies?
  • Eat lots of Creme Eggs
  • Obsess over previous (failed) relationships and how everything was your fault. Should take up a couple of hours, easy.
  • Debate whether to start installing a new and complicated piece of software, confident in the knowledge that if you do, something will go wrong that it might take hours to fix.
  • Watch 3 whole series of The Wire, sequentially, with only toilet and tea breaks, until 'Down in the Hole' starts playing on a loop in your head over and over and over and over, and the obsessive need to grab someone and tell them how 'it's the best TV ever' takes near psychotic hold.
  • Idly fantasise about relationships you could have, then fuck up, and exactly how it would all go disastrously wrong, in minute detail.
  • Decide that, hey, maybe underpants do need ironing after all, and maybe socks do need pairing.
  • Prepare overly-elaborate sandwiches several times a day.
  • Tidy your room.
  • Seriously consider reading the magazines that NUT, NASUWT and ATL seem to send on a nearly daily basis.

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